You’re a mom now!! Yay! All the feels comes with parenthood; happiness, excitement, nervousness, scared to death, curious, LOVE, anxiousness, questioning whether you’re doing this right. It is totally normal. At least that’s what I tell myself! You are experiencing a whole other part of life once that special boy or girl cries their first cry in that hospital room or in the comfort of your own home. Obviously though, nothing is perfect. Not even your child.
Once I found out I was pregnant, I immediately was scared. It was completely unplanned, and I had no idea what to do. It took me a few days to say, “OK, I’m going to be a mom”. I feel like a lot of women and men would be embarrassed to say that they weren’t immediately jumping for joy upon finding out that they are conceiving. I’m here to tell you, you shouldn’t be! As I continued to watch my belly grow, my excitement grew with it. I couldn’t wait to meet my son! I always knew that my first child was going to be a boy. So, we picked out the unique name; Caelan (pronounced Kay-lan).
I am totally an OCD freak, so I wanted everything to be PERFECT for my sweet baby boy. I wanted the nursery to be completely set up and decorated; totally didn’t happen! We had the main stuff built but man was his room nowhere near as organized or as cute as I wanted it. Ha! I wanted to make sure I was knowledgeable about everything baby! The milestones he would reach, breastfeeding tips, vaccines, doctor’s appointments, baby products, etc., If you’re a mom reading this, you know the struggle of preparing for a little one. When he came into this world though, none of that mattered. When I say NONE, I mean NONE of that mattered. Whether his room was completely decorated or that I didn’t know what his first solid food should be, it just really wasn’t important. What was important was that we birthed a healthy baby boy. He was born just after midnight at 12:18am and weighed 6lbs and 14 oz.
As he grew, I grew with him. When your becoming a mother, you’ll find yourself all over again. You know who you are before you become one, but once you’re looking into those beautiful baby’s eyes, you see your true self. You will get scared all over again! I feel like I’m constantly scared to be honest. What if he doesn’t grow up to be happy? What if he chokes on this toy and dies? (Constant worry with a now one-year old) What if my fiancé and I don’t raise him correctly? Is he eating enough and staying hydrated? UHHH how do you do this parent thing? So many unanswered questions that you can’t really answer right away. It’s all a learning experience for your whole family. So, when your crying at 2am in the morning because your baby is hungry….but you just fell back asleep 10 minutes ago….embrace that mess. Give yourself a few minutes and pull yourself together. You deserve a few moments, right?
Society creates such a strong influence on mothers and fathers today. Including gender roles and what each parent SHOULD or SHOULDN’T be doing while raising your kids. Don’t let you baby cry for longer than 5 minutes or else he’ll develop a neurological disorder. Don’t let your kids play in the mud. They have to have all the brand new this and high tech that. Well F**K that! You do what you think is best for your child and your family. Only parents know what is best for their child. And in the meantime, don’t stress yourself on if your child is a little behind on standing up or walking. Or if they don’t look clean and presentable ALL OF THE TIME. They are kids; aren’t they supposed to be a little dirty? Ha! Really, just DO YOU!
Remember, no one is perfect! You are human and so are your kids. Embrace your imperfect self and your imperfect life.